Miserable At Best
by Sup-I'm-Andromeda
Summary: "But I guess that I can live without you, but without you, I'll be miserable at best." ThaliaxLuke.
1. Chapter One: Death

**Author's Note: Hello, this is a fanfiction of Thalia and Luke that I have written in time for Percy Jackson Ship Weeks on Tumblr. It was inspired by the song Miserable at Best ****_by Mayday Parade, and I _****do ****_hope enjoy reading it._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics of the song (New Divide) or the characters, Thalia and Luke. The owners are Linkin Park and Rick Riordan, respectively._**

* * *

"_I remembered black skies  
The lightning all around me  
I remembered each flash  
As time began to blur."  
~__**New Divide,**__Linkin Park_

He felt like every inch of his body was on fire. He was tempted to pause and catch his breath. He felt like he dropped his lungs somewhere back to where Thalia killed off a couple of those creepy monsters. They've been running from the monsters that Hades summoned for what seemed like hours, when in reality, they've only been running for a good fifteen minutes.

The freaky flying folk – Luke guessed that they were the Furies – were gaining in on him, and they'd be digging their large talons on his shoulder blades any moment now. One of the bat-like women clawed at his head, and would've succeeded in ripping out a chunk of his skull if he didn't duck. He was barely breathe, and the fact that he was carrying an exhausted Annabeth was not helping him out.

Thalia was firing arrows at the monsters at their trail, and most of them had disintegrated at the touch of the Celestial bronze. But they were outnumbered from fifty to four. Sighing, the daughter of Zeus stopped running and held her ground, still aiming arrows against monsters. Luke stopped as he realized that the hellhounds and the Furies all focused on the daughter of Zeus now. "Thal! Come on, hurry up! They're coming for us, Thal!"

"Go!" she managed to scream back at him as she raised her spear, volts of lightning crackling at the tip of the Celestial bronze steel. She called forth thunder and lightning from the heavens, frying a hellhound or two in the process. Luke was going to refuse, she just knew it.

"No!" he shouted, a very tired Annabeth still clinging onto him. "No way in Hades am I going to leave you! I made a promise to protect you, and I intend to keep it!"

"Do it for Annabeth!" she said as a Fury came charging at her. But still, he refused. It would take a lot of convincing for Luke to leave her. He didn't want to leave. The Fury swiped at her with its talons, knocking over her spear. The Fury was met with a jolt of lightning, and the daughter of Zeus rolled to the grass to meet her spear. She looked up at him, his eyes meeting her electric blue ones. "Do it for me!"

Luke was taken aback, but he nodded and gestured for Grover to run faster. "Come on, Grover! Come on!" he ran straight towards Half-Blood Hill, and headed straight to the camp in sight. He gingerly let Annabeth rest on the soft grass, and drew out his dagger. "Grover, take care of her! I'm going after Thal!"

Just as he said that, he could hear the sounds of thunder rumbling and lightning roaring towards the direction of where Thalia was. Storm clouds appeared in the sky, and Luke was shocked at the amount of power that the daughter of Zeus was summoning. _She might end up killing herself, _he thought with a shock. He headed straight towards the direction of the thunder and lightning.

When he got to the scene of the crime, he looked around warily, dagger raised. The mini storms have already died down. There was no trace of the monsters that he just heard five seconds ago. The ground was powdered with golden dust, he noticed. And that could only mean one thing... "Thalia!" he shouted, panicked. Where was she? "Thalia! Where are you!" he could hear the sounds of heavy breathing to his left, and he followed his senses. Thalia was here. She _must _be.

"Thals!" he said as he noticed her, lying on the grassy ground of Half-Blood Hill. She was covered with monster dust all over, and Apollo's sun chariot sailed right above them. The skies grew lighter, and her electric blue eyes shone with the light. He smiled down at her as he knelt down and cradled her in his arms. "I thought I lost you." he said as he wrapped her in a tight hug. But something was wrong. Something was _definitely _wrong.

A sticky, bright red substance coated the fingers of his right hand, and the very thought of her bleeding heavily made him dizzy. He now noticed the blood bleeding in the right side of her body. He noticed the cuts from where a hellhound or, to her most unfortunate luck, possible, a Fury scratched her. There was a voice in his head nagging him that she wasn't going to make it alive, but he ignored it. She was going to live. She was going to make it. She _had to _make it. He would simply _die _if she wouldn't make it.

"Thalia," he said, fondly stroking her cheek, almost close to tears. "You're not going to leave me! Please, just hold on for a few minutes! I'll take you to a doctor! A healer or something!" he tried to hold back the tears, to show her that he'll stay strong, but his eyes watered.

"No," she said weakly. "No doctors. No healers. I'm losing too much blood, Luke. I-I'm dying. I can just feel it. I-I just know it and –"

"Thalia!" he said, almost close to sobbing now. "You can't say such things at this moment! You have to _believe_ you can make it! Come on, please, do it for me –"

"Luke, j-just accept it, please," she said, her voice shaky. "Luke, I … I love you."

He couldn't breathe. He had always dreamed of her to say that, but not in the 'I'm-dying-so-it's-okay-anyway' way. He almost choked as he said, "I-I love you too," he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, as tears streamed down his face. "You are _not _leaving me."

"Luke," she said shakily. "I'm so sorry," she whispered out a final goodbye, as she closed her eyes. Blood stained the ground, and from that moment onward, he knew that he would never, _ever _forgive himself for not helping her. It was practically _his _fault that she was dead.

He stood up and clenched his fists. Anger flooded through his veins. The pain was unimaginable, like his heart was split in two with a war ax, and he could do nothing to heal it. For the sake of the gods, you could tear out his heart, but it would be nothing compared to the pain he was feeling right now. He let out an agonized cry that could be heard across Long Island Sound.

He just couldn't accept the reality that Thalia, the love of his life, that one daughter of Zeus who could make him smile, was _dead_. Thalia's body disintegrated in a flash of golden light, and when he looked up, a tall pine tree loomed over him.

The world blurred in slow motion, and he fell to they ground, on his knees.

* * *

**_Next _**_**Chapter...**_

_He stared up at the important-looking man and shook his hand without skipping a heartbeat. There was an evil glint in the man's golden eyes, and Luke had a feeling inside that he had just knocked on the doors of death._


	2. Chapter Two: Gone

_**Author's Note: I was supposed to finish this story before July 20, but I had some family problems. I would like to thank you for continuing to read this fanfic. Hooray for Thaluke! Don't forget to review!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics of the song at the beginning, which is the song ****Never Should Have Let You Go. ****I do not own Thalia and Luke too. These belong to Simple Plan (my favorite band), and the awesome Rick Riordan, respectively.**_

* * *

"_I wish that I can find a way to turn back time  
'Cause life's just not the same since you've been gone  
I never should have let you go."  
~**Never Should Have Let You Go, **Simple Plan_

A boy in an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt jogged up the top of Half-Blood Hill, where a pine tree was planted on. _Huh_, he thought. He could've sworn that the pine tree wasn't there yesterday, or maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him again. He caught sight of a blonde demigod, bloodied and bruised. Panic washed over him. _Oh gods_, he thought as he rushed to the Big House to alert Chiron.

The son of Hermes awoke with a jolt and sat up, meeting Annabeth's stormy gray eyes, red from crying. He noticed she had dark circles under her eyes, and he assumed that she hasn't been sleeping well the past few nights. "How long was I out?" he grumbled, scratching his head.

"Two days," the satyr Grover replied. He had been so silent that Luke didn't even notice he was there. "Annabeth and I were beginning to get really worried. But your heart is still beating, so I guess that's good." _My heart might still be beating, _Luke thought. _But that doesn't mean it's not broken._

"So it's true, isn't it?" he said, staring straight into the satyr's eyes. "Thalia really is gone, isn't she?" At the mention of the name of the daughter of Zeus, Annabeth started sobbing. _The poor girl, _the son of Hermes thought. _She must be heartbroken too. _Thalia was like a sister to the seven-year-old girl – almost a mother to her, even.

His heart still ached for the daughter of Zeus. He would kill just so he could see her smile one more time. But there was no chance that he'd see her again. She was gone forever, and there was nothing he could do. And what killed him inside the most was that it was practically _his _fault that she wasn't by his side right now. He knew he shouldn't, but he truly blamed himself.

"It's all my fault," Grover said after a minute's worth of silence, bowing his head. "I was supposed to protect you. All three of you. It was supposed to be my job." he said guiltily. "Now Thalia's gone because I didn't do a good enough job."

"No, you shouldn't blame yourself," Luke said with a sigh. "In all honesty, I'm blaming myself for losing her. How could I have been so stupid?" His eyes started to water, but he held them back. There was no point in crying. Tears can't rewrite the past.

Weeks passed, and Luke still couldn't get over the daughter of Zeus. His heart still ached for her, and he constantly tries to distract himself from thinking of her, but none of his attempts worked. Almost everything reminded him of her. _Thalia_, he thought as he stared up at the dark midnight sky from the roof of Cabin Eleven, remembering the times that they stared up at the same sky, the same moon, together. _Are you thinking of me like I'm thinking of you?_

Months passed, and Luke found himself sneaking out before the sun rose and avoiding the harpies – which wasn't so hard for a son of Hermes – and sitting by Thalia's pine tree. This was the last place where they had contact, Luke thought. He had deep thoughts, and when he needed sleep the most, he'd lie down on the soft grass, take a long rest, and watch the rest of the world go by.

Many years passed and she still hasn't escaped his thoughts, not even a single bit. In the space of five years, he grew up to be one of the best swordsmen in the entire camp. He was one of the most powerful demigods that Chiron has ever trained, as the centaur said so himself. And it was just his luck that he caught the attention of a golden-eyed man seeking control of Olympus.

* * *

A voice kept nagging him inside his head, repeating the two dreadful words, _You failed. _Much to his horror, that voice belonged to his father Hermes. _You failed and you have a _scar _to prove it. _Much to Luke's annoyance, as he returned from his failed quest to the Garden of Hesperides, every single one of the demigods have been looking at him and the deep scar with a feeling of intense pity in their eyes.

He tightened his grip around Ladon's claw and headed to the Big House, where Chiron and the wine god Dionysus were playing pinochle. "Luke," the centaur said as the son of Hermes stormed in. "I am overjoyed that you were able to make it out safely. How was your quest, Luke?"

Luke ignored his questions and sighed and set the dragon claw down the wooden table. Head bowed, he left the Big House and headed straight to Cabin Eleven, where he promptly passed out on his bed from exhaustion.

* * *

The moment he closed his eyes, he was haunted by nightmares. As soon as the son of Hermes stared into those intense golden eyes, there were voices everywhere warning Luke to fear this man. The golden-eyed man was clad in a black suit, although his outfit often shimmered like mist and was replaced by golden battle armor.

"My name is Kronos. You remind me of myself when I was younger," the man – Kronos – said, beginning to pace back and forth, and his voice made Luke shiver. "You wish to seek revenge against the Olympians, preferably your father Hermes, I just know it. You wish to see Mount Olympus _burn to the ground_." The golden-eyed man gave Luke a small smile, and time seemed to slow down around them. "I know what is it you want."

"I know that you want _power_ beyond all measure. I know that you want to dominate the world and rule the nations." Kronos said, a smirk on the corners of his lips. "I do too. So a deal, it is. I need _your _help to overthrow Olympus, and you need _mine_. Do you accept my offer, son of Hermes?"

Luke was still unsure of this man. Sure, he _did _want power, but there was something – to be honest, _someone –_ else. Luke didn't feel like he could trust this man – who was, in Greek mythology, a _Titan._Sighing, Kronos tried again. "I know that you are angered by Zeus, irritated that he has not freed the girl yet." Luke's eyes widened. _Thalia, _he realized. _This guy was talking about Thalia! _He continued, "But _I _can help you. I know a way how to revive Thalia Grace, and if you could just help me, I'm sure that she will be back soon. Very soon."

"Do you accept my offer, Luke Castellan?" the man in a black suit asked, reaching out a hand. The son of Hermes looked up at the man's cold, golden eyes, and just by glancing at them, it sent shivers down his spine. For a moment, his mind was torn. He would be betraying his father by accepting this man's suggestion, but then again … _Thalia_. He let that sink in. This man – _Kronos_, as he calls himself – can revive Thalia...

_We can finally be reunited again_, he realized. He stared up at the important-looking man and shook his hand without skipping a heartbeat. There was an evil glint in the man's golden eyes, and Luke had a feeling inside that he had just knocked on the doors of death.

* * *

_**Next Chapter...**_

_He wanted to run to her and wrap her into a bear hug and tell her that he missed her so badly. He wanted to go up to her and tell her he loved her, and that he was never going to lose her ever again._

_He didn't. He couldn't._


	3. Chapter Three: Mess

**Author's Note: Sorry this took such a long time! This story will have at least five chapters in total, maybe more if I have the inspiration to write! I'm trying to think of something for Chrisse ship week on Tumblr, so if you have any ideas for Chrisse, please leave it down there! Thanks for reading! Hooray for Thaluke angst!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song The Mess I Made by Parachute, and I really don't own the awesomeness of the characters in this story. Rick Riordan owns Percy Jackson.**

* * *

"_I'm staring at the mess I made.  
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away."  
~__**The Mess I Made, **__Parachute_

Luke watched from a distance as Annabeth draped the Golden Fleece on a loose branch of Thalia's pine tree. It seemed just like yesterday when he transformed into a pine tree right in front of his own eyes. He sighed and bowed his head, tears streaming down his face. The sound of loud gasps from the crowd caught his attention, and he looked up. Where the tree had stood three seconds ago, it was no longer there. That must mean one thing...

The crowd made way for Percy to pass, and Luke's breath caught his throat. Thalia's head rested on Percy's shoulder, and Luke's heart started to beat faster, and he thought it was going to leap out of his own throat when he saw her cough and open her startling electric blue eyes. _It's her_, he thought as tears began to stream down his face. _It's really her_. He wanted to run to her and wrap her into a bear hug and tell her that he missed her so badly. He wanted to go up to her and tell her he loved her, and that he was never going to lose her _ever _again.

He didn't. He couldn't. As far as he could tell, he was labeled a _traitor_. If he came up to her right now, the demigods would _surely _attack him, and he'd end up outnumbered. He was no longer the head of Cabin Eleven. He wasn't the son of Hermes that younger demigods looked up to anymore. He was Luke Castellan, traitor to Camp Half-Blood and he now works for Kronos, the very Titan who wanted to destroy Olympus.

And as the daughter of Zeus looked his way, he could notice her eyes light up. He couldn't help but smile at her before waving goodbye and walking away. He could hear her shout, "Luke! Come back here! _Luke!_" before he melted into the shadows, and he found himself back in the boat Princess Andromeda.

The crowd of monsters and demigods under Kronos' spell looked at him expectantly. He sighed, and raised a hand to announce, "Our mission was a success." he said, trying his voice from cracking. "Thalia Grace, the daughter of Zeus, is very much _alive_. Kronos would be very, _very _delighted to hear this." the crowds erupted into cheers, and nobody could see his eyes watering in tears.

He retreated back to his room in the ship and dropped his sword. He fell on his knees and buried his face in his hands. He could be with her again, but at the same time … he couldn't. This was for the better, he tried to tell himself. This is for her. There is a war coming, and she'd get hurt. He needed to stop the war from coming. He needed to protect Thalia.

_Thalia, _he thought as tears streamed down his face. _I am so, _so _sorry._

* * *

"I-I could've sworn! Luke was there! And he just raised his hand and walked away and erupted into shadows! And-and he had this really noticeable scar! Come on, Annie, you believe me, right?" Thalia said, looking at the daughter of Athena with pleading eyes. "Do you guys know where he is? Why isn't he in the Hermes Cabin anymore? Is he on a quest or something? I have to see him again! I-I..." she trailed off. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" she growled.

"Thalia, it's _impossible _that Luke was there." Annabeth said, biting her lip, taking a bite out of her apple. "He's not," she said, and she looked like she wanted to add, _as much as I wanted him to be there. _"It must've been the Mist playing tricks on you. And Mr D would notice if he simply entered camp borders and besides, he doesn't belong to Camp Half-Blood anymore."

"He's _what_?" the daughter of Zeus scowled. "What do you _mean _Luke doesn't belong to Camp Half-Blood anymore?"

"What Annabeth meant to say was," Grover suddenly explained. "That Luke … is, well, on Kronos' side now. He was working for Kronos all this time, and he was the one who poisoned the pine tree that Zeus turned you into when you were dying. As much as we all want to believe that he's not evil –"

"It's because he's _not_." Thalia growled, slamming her hands on the table. "What are you guys going on about? This is _Luke Castellan _we're talking about! Annie, this is the guy who was like an older brother to you when you ran away from home! Don't you remember? We had the time of our lives together when we were on the run! That was the best year of our lives, Annabeth. You can't just..." she said, angry tears streaming down her face. "You can't just say that he's gone evil now." she added quietly.

"I'm sorry," Annabeth said, blinking back tears. "I-Thals, I didn't want to believe it too, but –"

"You guys are all lying! Tell me the truth!" Thalia shouted, boiling with anger and rage. The demigods in the mess hall went silent. The demigods from nearby tables were beginning to look at her. "The Luke I knew … The Luke I loved …" she trailed off, and shook the thoughts away from her head. "He wouldn't do such a thing."

"He tried to kill us back in the PrincessAndromeda. I don't think he's the Luke we all _knew_." Percy said, looking down at his food. "He's all tricked us, Thalia. We thought he was on our side, but he was on Kronos' side all this time, and we were all shocked to hear it. _I'm _still shocked to hear it."

"Why would you care, Jackson?" the daughter of Zeus spat out. "You didn't know him! You didn't spend a year with him fighting monsters and trying to survive in the streets! You still _don't _know him, not at all!"

"Thalia, I-I think you need some time alone," Annabeth said and patted her friend on the back before Percy could open his mouth to reply. "I know this is a lot to handle, and it's best if you try not to think about it for a while."

The anger in Thalia's startling electric blue eyes faded and was replaced with sadness. She wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her black jacket. She couldn't bring herself to be mad at Annabeth and Grover and Percy. They weren't to blame. In fact, she really didn't _know _who she was supposed to blame.

She was still awake late that night. Thinking about the endless possibilities of what could've happened. What if she lived to fight that day, and hadn't been turned into a pine tree? If she had, then Luke wouldn't probably be in this mess. What if he didn't join Kronos? What if … What if they could have gotten the happy ending the two of them secretly wanted and deserved?

In the corner of her eye, she saw pictures up a wall in her room. Pictures of her, Annabeth, and … Luke. Maybe Annabeth or Luke taped them there because they thought it simply belonged there. She ripped the photo off the wall and stared at it, tears streaming down her face. The three of them were sitting in a photo booth and she was in the center, and she was caught mid-laugh. She was with the two of her best friends, and the memory made her heart ache.

_Luke, _she thought as she clutched the photograph to her chest. _I am so, _so _sorry. _


End file.
